Ey mang. We made the World Series, and everyting! And don’t joo worry, I is going to practice AND show up, and we’s gonna win. Joo better prepare for a sick party, OK? Speaking of sick parties, I’m sure joo guys found a bunch of pictures where we was all spraying champagne all over each other in the locker room, and drinking it, too. Well Manny had A LOT. So much that I ended up passing out in my bed, and next thing I know I wakes up at 10 AM and everybody is gone from my penthouse, mang. Wife, kids, LMontro who crashed with me, everybody.
I is pretty hungry, but also kinda sick still, so I calls room service to get some good food. ‘Cept I call, and nobody picks up! Manny guesses, he gots to feed himself. So I FIRES UP my INTERNET and searches my friend Google, for “how can I get a good breakfast around here by myself?”
It turns out there’s a lot (A LOT) of information on the web about restaurants all over the place, because bored people I guess, they write stupid little reviews about every place ever. Just look at this one:
This toolbag’s stupid blog entry, called “Panera is sometimes a bummer”, is so horrible I had to put the whole thing up for joo to see here:
“Having a studio upstairs from Panera means they are convenient to nosh, but they are sometimes lame. They did forget to put strawberries on my strawberry salad this summer (and the pecans, too), they often forget my chips or give me bread instead but if I go down later and complain they give me the chips. Every day I receive a different size or type of cup for my iced coffee depending on who is handing them out (if they recognize me, they sometimes sneak me the big one, if they are a manager just the small one, sometimes clear, sometimes opaque). As I wait in line, I think either “I wish there was a different sandwich shop here,” or, “I hate you for getting rid of the chicken bacon dijon sandwich!” Sometimes I think, “If I didn’t have to get in my car or walk so far I’d get lunch at Strip Ts cuz it is so much better.” Panera sometimes really bums me out and I can tell from the faces around me that everyone else is thinking the same things I am as they wait in line. The Lunch at Work blogger is bored at lunch because of Panera. Go to Strip Ts. Which I would if I wasn’t so lazy.”
What a frigging loser, OK? Really, DO JOO FRIGGING CARE what type of cup joor iced coffee comes in? Really? And how much frigging time joo got, that it makes sense to spend some time out of joor day, to write all about it? I tell joo, people will write ANY WORTHLESS TRIPE on their blog, like. Frigging losers.
So anyways, let me tell joo all about MANNY’s SANDWICH! I got a one with tomato, and mozzarella, and pesto, and everyting. I axed them, please put some mustard and mayo on it, mang. The lady, she looked at me and said are you sure. So I said back OF COURSE Manny knows what he likes, joo know? How rude. So they do put the mustard and mayo on it FINALLY, and puts it in a bag for me, and I go back home, mang. But then, once I get home and opens the bag, it ends up all soggy, like. So if joo ever goes to Nancy’s in Copley, make sure Rita the fat old lady doesn’t make joor sandwich, cause she’ll do it wrong. OK?
Did joo like that story mang? Eating sammidges makes me happy, mang, even if they’re defective. Bye.