Ey mang. How did joo guys like my TOWERING MOON SHOT to end Game 2? I bet Tito is real happy I didn’t end up missing the playoffs cause I forgot, mang.
I is going to try something new here: a live blog during the game, mang, no edits or anything. I hope I no get distracted. Here goes:
3:27: Ey mang! I is up at bat! This guy is trying to trick me, pitching me outside, but I not having it, mang. Ain’t nobody who can do that to me. Walk me, mang!
3:28 I HATE being on base, mang. I gots to pay attention, is he gonna hit it good or bad? If he hit it GOOD, I gots to run real fast to get to the next base, they tell me. BUT IF IT”S BAD I shouldn’t go nowheres. I tink it’s a little confusing. Especially when I’m the first batter then I got to watch, and run, then go back to watching, like. I is SO LUCKY to have DeMarlo there, mang. I gots to tell joo guys about him and me some other time.
3:41 Nobody ever hits it to left, mang! I don’t know whether or not that’s good. My mind wandering a little, mang. The word “wander” is a little weird, right? Could be an adjective, too. If joo are more wand than somebody else, joo are wander.
3:42 Oh no here comes the ball.
4:02 Cabrera got a funny stance, no? He kinda looks like a chicken or something when he’s up there. Especially since he lost a bunch of weight, I tink.
4:03 That guy was OUT, mang. I threw a freaking laser to Lowell, mang, and it was an out by about a MILE. I is gonna have to have some chatting with that ump, later. Is amazing, joo talk and talk to them, and they almost never changes their minds. Even if joo say, ey mang, I saw it, really, it has no effect, like they not paying attentions to me, mang.
4:07 BASES LOADED I don’t believe it.
4:09 BASES UNLOADED I still don’t believe it.
4:14 HERE I GO. BACK TO BACK, Manny and Papi. I prepared my little celebration with my arms just for my blog readers, mang, I hope joo liked it. Kaboom, like.
4:22 JD Drew is nowhere NEAR as good as Manny. I plays better, I makes more money, AND I have more kids. NO contest.
4:38 Game getting boring again, mang, when do I go back up? Is tired of seeing people walking and stealing, like. I like homers.
4:50 Here comes the ball again mang!
4:54 Oh mang could this be any more boring. Seriously, so many foul balls. I starting to think again. Joo guys know that guy Joey Chestnut? The guy who ate all the hot dogs? There’s no way that’s his real name, right? I mean, come on. Joey Chestnut? His real name is probably “Martin McGoob” or something stupid like that, I tink.
5:01 Go Papi, hit another dinger!
5:02 Papi walked, here goes MANNY except now I have to face some other douchebag pitcher. I’s gonna give him my ANGRY face to intimidate heem.
5:08 Crap mang.
5:19 In the dugout Schilling was all like STOP BLOGGING MANG the game is happening. I is like, no, and also, why is joo not writing in your blog, or letting me make comments on your blog too? I’m not mad at heem though, cause he’s pitching pretty good.
5:23 Striking out the side? See is wasn’t me sucking that I got out on this guy, mang, he struck out a bunch of people after me.
5:30 I can’t believe Coco dropped that catch, what the H. He should be cut, MANNY would of had that in a second.
5:44 Things are getting intense mang! A pitching change and everything. I has been thinking, what should the RAMIREZ family give away for Halloween this year? I thinking, sometimes joo get teenagers, who joo know DRINK. So why not just give them beer? Cept joo also know that young kids always get hung over, like, so why not also give them Tylenol with it for the next day? But also going to a WHOLE NOTHER LEVEL, why not just save them the trouble, and mix liquid Tylenol with it? I think I give that away this year, but only to teenagers.
5:48 Man, I didn’t see Pedroia’s hit cause I was busy putting more deodorant on in the bathroom. What a suck, mang. At least I smell good.
5:52 Time to finish this, mang! I’s gonna hit a BIG dinger.
5:56 Awesome, I don’t got to run! Go, rookie, go.
6:03 The fat lady’s water just broke, mang. 9-0. Can I get on the plane home now mang?
Well with that I stopping writing, mang… I gots to get ready for the party, mang! See joo guys later.