Ey mang. So I promised joo guys, to tell joo all about what happened last weekend, mang. Was a ridiculous party. Me and Eric Win and Kevin Garnett and Randy MOSS all went out in Seattle, mang. First we all get super liquored up in the hotel that me and Eric Win are staying at. Then Eric Win says, why don’t we all go out to a strip club! We is all like, that’s a great idea, mang.
So we goes to the strip club and it’s cool because EVERYBODY RECOGNIZES US! This one stripper was like, ey Manny mang, sign my boobs, mang. Everybody is all waving to us and we’re having a good time, like. Eventually we all gets SUPER DRUNK and starts making bets. I ask Randy, I say, what’s the over-under on how many strippers we can fit on KG, mang? (Cuz he all lanky like, and if we stand him up and have him spread his arms, I bet like 50 strippers could hang off him.) And Randy says, 50 is ridiculous. He bets 15, MAX.
So I talks to Garnett and says, ey mang, come here for a second. Stand up and we’ll do a little experiment, OK? And I pulls the maitre d’ over, and asks him to get 20 naked girls over by us. I tell them the deal and they all start climbing all over Kevin, like. First they start with his arms, hanging from him like he was two tree branches. Then a couple get all up on his shoulders, like. And even after that a couple girls manage to wrap themselves around his chest and hips and legs, like. KG all shaking like a big wimp, like he’s gonna drop them all or something. We step back and look, and the big mass of flesh kinda looks like VOLTRON, cept made out of a gaggle of naked girls instead of ROBOT PIECES. So me and Randy counts, and guess how many? I say FORTY SIX and Randy was all like WRONG, it’s 23, mang. And I was like oops, I was counting boobies instead of people, mang. My bad.
After this KG says he gots a bet for Randy. He bets that Randy won’t do his pulling-down-the-pants taunt on stage along with a stripper, mang. Randy is like SIR, PLEASE and hops up on stage right away and does it for real, pulling down his pants and everything. Everybody in the front row is all shocked and horrified, cause he didn’t like have any underwear on, mang. SO the maitre’d and some bouncers come over and bounce us, mang. On second thought maybe we shouldn’t have had Randy do that, mang.
So anyways, once we is outside, Randy says he did his part, so now I have to do my chicken dance in a game, mang. I says, joo is right! So in the game on Saturday I hits a home run, comes back to the dugout, and does my chicken dance. Everybody was all confused and asked Manny, why is joo acting like a bull? I was like, is NOT A BULL MANG. Is my chicken dance, OK? Here’s a picture, what do you think? Is more CHICKEN than BULL right?
That’s the story, mang, I hope joo liked it. Manny’s word is his bond, and if he promises to do a chicken dance, ain’t no way it won’t never unhappen.