Ey mang. Joo guys hear the news? The Red Sox got Eric Gagné. Is ridiculous. Now we got as many good arms as Goro from Mortal Kombat. Seriously. And that’s on TOP OF the Celtics getting Kevin Garnett on a trade too. Might as well call them the “Sell-Tix.” (Is Manny being clever, mang.) Anyways, normally I don’t like Canadians, mang, and I know joo all is waiting to hear, how I getting along with Gagné?
Turns out I like him OK! So I sees Eric in the clubhouse yesterday and introduce myself. I says, Ey mang! And he says Bonjour. Oh and by the way Lowell is there too. Lowell says, hey Manny, guess what, Eric’s last name means WIN in French. And I says to Eric, REALLY? and he was like OUI, BIEN SUR. I dunno what the hell that means but I thought this was perfect, mang, just a few nights ago we anoint Captain Loser (that’s Varitek, see the last post I made mang), and now we gots Eric Win. Not only that but Captain Loser is the catcher so sometimes it’ll be Win throwing to Loser. Ja ja ja, mang. Maybe we can shave a W into Eric Win’s head and everything.
So Tito comes in and starts talking to me and Eric Win and Lowell. He mumbled something and it sounded like “I squeezed the grapefruit juice.” So nobody really heard him and we were all looking at each other like we normally do after we don’t understand something Tito said. Finally Eric Win pipes up and says “Eh, mang”? And Lowell just starts cracking up. Terry wants to know what’s so funny so Lowell tells him, that’s Manny’s line, “ey mang.” And Eric Win says give me a break, I’m Canadian, eh? But is true, mang, is my line. So I guess me and Eric Win, though we two different guys, we really speak the same language, joo know?
When I get home to the Ritz, mang, I tell Juliana all dis. She says, why don’t you get together with Eric Win, AND Kevin Garnett, AND Randy Moss and welcome everybody to Boston? I says, baby I says, that’s a great idea. So I calls up all those guys and says mang, let’s go out. They all say YES so we’s all painting the town red Saturday night. I write all about it Monday, OK? Later, mang.