LMonstro’s MIRACULOUS RECOVERY

Ey mang. Great news! A couple days ago my boy LMONSTRO recovered from his coma, mang. I got a call from him as I was trying to convince Manny Jr. to eat some Dino Nuggets. I nearly dropped the phone, I was so surprised! I had no idea that you could, like, go from being in a FREAKING COMA to being FULLY operational in a couple days. Seriously. ‘Cept he got some sort of speech impediment going on, so joo can tell he wasn’t all there. Here’s how our call went down:

MANNY: EY mang!

LMONSTRO: Fup bro. It’s LMontro, dawg. I’m all healthy and crap! Let’f go thelebrate!

MANNY: Ey mang, what’s the matter with your speech, mang? Joo can’t say your esses anymore?

LMONSTRO: Dat’f right, mang. They told me that I can’t thpeak my effef tho good anymore. The electrical thockings, they messed with my tongue and made it all rigid all the time, like.

MANNY: You mean to tell me joo got a PERMANENT TONGUE BONER?

LMONSTRO: Yeah, I gueff tho.

So we goes out to celebrate. And by out, I mean we goes down to the hotel bar at the Ritz-Carlton. We have some drinks, mang, and we try to figure out how to get LMonstro’s speech back. We think, popsicles? Or maybe eating some circus peanuts? Or maybe if we get him super drunk, like, he’ll relax, and his tongue boner will be gone. Before we can do any research, this reporter from the GLOBE saw me and him and says he wants to do a story on LMonstro, mang. So LMonstro gives an interview, even without his esses! Ay dios mio!

Joo guys want to hear something hilarious? The GLOBE ran the story today, and they’re actually calling him “LMontro”, without the S, like! Ja ja ja! So me and Papi, we decide right then and there, that from here on in, LMonstro is gonna be LMontro. It’s his new name! Like when Megatron became Galvatron, joo guys remember that? Joo can see the Globe story here:

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2007/07/25/red_sox_connecting_with_their_cut_off_man/?page=1

That story gives some story about how he shortened his name, but it ain’t right, mang, like most of the stuff the Globe runs. Joo wonder why I never talk to them? Inaccuracies in like every other paragraph, mang. BUT NOW, THANKS TO MANNY’S BLOG, joo guys know the truth. Peace.

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