Manny needs PARENTAL HELP

Ey mang. Did joo guys catch the last post? I hired this editor guy to write it up all fancy like, but then I read it again, and I didn’t like it. So I fired him, mang. I figured, really, it’s not like you can edit genius, anyway.

Man, do I have a story for you guys. I am seriously needing some advice here from anybody who gots kids. It’s a predicament, like. So yesterday Manny Jr. and Manny Jr. were hanging out with Papi’s son (aka Little Papi), at Papi’s house. Except, Papi had this super old dog, mang. And it had several cancers in it or whatever, and it was at the end of its rope. Its name was Baloncesto. It went into the backyard when the kids were playing TV tag. Joo guys remember that game? To get freed by somebody else, you had to name a show, it was the best. The kids were having fun playing it, but then there was a big noise when Baloncesto went PLOP! over on his back and died. It wasn’t breathing, and the kids knew it was dead. But PAPI, the big dork, he comes out and tells the kids that Baloncesto was just sleeping. He said he was gonna take him inside and put him on a bed.

So did joo guys see my family up in the Green Monster last night for the game? They was all up there, mang, even Manny Jr. and Manny Jr. I was so happy to have everybody there, that I decide afterwards, we’re all gonna go to the new Popeye’s near Fenway, mang. I order chicken nuggets for Manny Jr. and Manny Jr., and we sit down to eat. I tried to get them to eat the nuggets, but they said NO. They were scared that the CHICKEN NUGGETS were just sleeping, instead of dead. I was like GUYS, THAT’S RIDICULOUS. But then they told me about David saying that Baloncesto was just sleeping. They was seriously thinking that animals can disguise themselves as dead, and then wake up in your stomach, like.  Like that could really happen, especially if you make sure to chew them all up. I tried to reason with them, but LIKE USUAL it didn’t work so good.

Anybody out there ever deal with anything like this? Kids worrying about dead animals waking up? Let me know, mang, and I’ll buy you an Orange Julius or something, OK?

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1 Comment

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One response to “Manny needs PARENTAL HELP

  1. Charles

    Hey Mang,

    Just tell them that the only animals that can “act dead” then wake up are dogs. When my dog died, I told my son that he was sleeping. My son did the same thing and wouldn’t even eat any kind of meat for about a week. I told him that only dogs can “act dead” and wake up. He started eating again, soon after. Good Luck!!!!

    –Charles

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