Ey mang. I gots to say, definitely ain’t no road trip like a West Coast road trip, mang.
So some of my biggest fans might know this, mang. Is a little piece of Manny trivia, if you know what I’m saying. I gots a bit of a history with some folks who now live in the commonwealth of Arizona. A lot of friends, and a lot of not-so-friends, joo know? So I was expecting to see some people when we was hanging around town, but things went down real fast, let me tell you!
When we got into the Arizona clubhouse, I saw this dude who claims he was my first ever agent, mang. He’s a hardcore swindler, rattlesnake type, OK? When I came into the league, in the minors, he said he was gonna get me a sweet endorsement deal with some sneaker company or something like that. I was young and I didn’t know any better, so I entered a gentleman’s agreement with him, mang. I said, you get me a deal with endorsements, signing posters and doing commercials, you get 10 percent. Sounds like a good deal, right? Well this guy, he don’t do nothing for me, joo see? He keeps making promises, but I still got no money in the bank and night after night I still cooking Spaghetti-O’s in my apartment, waiting for my paycheck. I didn’t even have a stove in my place, I used an iron turned upside down to heat my Spaghetti-O’s! And one night this guy, he gets an idea to show up at my place, says I owe him 20 grand for services rendered. I say NO WAY and shut the door on his face, mang, and I stay away from him ever since.
So who’s waiting for me at Chase Field, mang? You guessed it. I figure, he got nothing to lose by harassing Big Shot Manny these days, so I better get out of this, mang. So I lean on my friends a little bit. I grab Tavarez, and we do a little thinking together, me and him. Then I see the laundry cart! I say to Julian, I say, wheel me outta here in the cart, mang! So he brings it over and I get in, right? We wheel by my old “agent” and he don’t see a thing! But I SUPER NERVOUS, mang. Once we get far enough away, Tavarez starts acting the fool, and taunting me. Then he takes a freakin’ picture of me IN THE CART with his cell phone! Originally I was kind of mad, but now I decide I gots this blog, so I gots to share with joo.
That’s it for today, mang. I let you know if I run into any more trouble.